Maniac Cop vs. Officer Downe
Maniac_Cop_vs_Officer_Downe.png|By I'm Lynda Maniac Cop vs. Officer Downe. is a What-If? Death Battle by I'm Lynda. It features Matt Cordell from the movie trilogy, Maniac Cop, and Terry Downe from the 2016 movie, Officer Downe. Description Two undead police officers square off in a battle to the...undeath! Interlude Wiz: “To serve and protect.” It’s a motto often associated with policemen everywhere. Boomstick: However, for these two movie cops, the slogan should be, “to maim and kill!” Wiz: The first of these cops is Matt Cordell, the murderous police officer of the Maniac Cop trilogy of movies. Boomstick: And the other is Terry Downe, the unstoppable anti-hero of the movie and comics, Officer Downe. Wiz: I’m Wiz and he’s Boomstick, and it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle. Maniac Cop Boomstick: Officer Matthew "Matt" Cordell was a dedicated member of the New York City Police Department. As a matter of fact, he was so dedicated, that he would not let little things like police protocols get in the way of his getting his man. Wiz: And when Cordell began getting close to on crimes that involved a number of important people, including Mayor Jerry Killum, they framed him for police brutality. Boomstick: Which was not too hard, as he had already killed five criminals beforehand. Cordell was sent to Sing Sing prison, where the other prisoners, many of whom he had put in there, were very happy to see him. Wiz: Catching Cordell in the shower, three convicts... Boomstick: Uh oh! I know where this is going. Wiz: No, you don’t. The convicts mutilate the man, and finally beat him to death. Boomstick: But Cordell was not all dead, he was just mostly dead. So, when he got down to the prison morgue, the medical examiner found that he still had signs of life, in spite of being brain dead. So, he released the man to his girlfriend, Sally Noland. But, it turned out that Cordell’s brain was not all dead, just mostly dead. Wiz: This left Cordell mutilated, burning for revenge against those who had wronged him, and completely impervious to pain. He went on a murderous rampage, causing the press to give him the nickname of “Maniac Cop.” Boomstick: Eventually, a detective named Lieutenant Sean McKinney cleared Cordell’s name, but Cordell was killed during the last part of his rampage, leaving the officer to finally be buried with honors. But, that was not the end for Cordell, because a Voodoo priest named Hungan...Houngan...Mal-fate-eor...well, with a French name anyway, brought him back from the grave. Wiz: And now, Matt Cordell is even more dangerous than he was before, unable to be killed, and very angry. Boomstick: It appears that Cordell cannot be killed. He has been shot, blown up, and even set on fire. He shrugs off the smaller damage, like bullets, but larger attacks seem to leave him stunned. Nonetheless, after an exploding oxygen canister left him to be consumed by a fire, turning him into something like a charcoal briquette, he still revived. Wiz: But, it does appear that while he keeps going, and keeps killing after each of these attacks, he does not seem to repair the damage, so there is some question as to how much damage he can take and revive. Boomstick: Now, when it comes to taking human life, Cordell’s favorite weapon is his trusty nightstick. But, this weapon has been personalized for him. He can turn the handle, and release knife that looks to have about a 12-inch blade, making it a sort of “two for the price of one.” Wiz: And Cordell’s other favorite weapon is his service revolver. He can quickly draw this weapon, and he shoots it with deadly accuracy. Once, he picked up a man who irritated him, threw him through the air, drew his gun, and put five rounds into him, before he hit the ground. Boomstick: I don’t care who you are, that is BAD ASS in anyone’s book. Matt Cordell is indeed a maniac of a cop. He’s a beat cop, and a stab cop, and a shoot cop, and a... Officer Downe Wiz: Officer Terrence “Terry” Downe was a dedicated member of the Los Angeles Police Department. So dedicated, in fact, that he was described as “fanatical.” In pursuits, he never let a suspect get away. Boomstick: That is, until the day he got into an accident on his motorcycle, and was thrown into some power lines, where he was basically fried to a crackly crisp. Wiz: He was killed in action, but he was not out of the fight. You see, the Police Chief had a super-secret, “Special Division” that was pushing technology where it had never gone before. Using a group of physically challenged, but mentally adept psychics as a sort of battery, they found that they could repair and resurrect Terry Downe, and send him right back into the fight. Boomstick: And now, he could take on even bigger odds than before his death, because he did not have to worry about staying alive. He’s LAPD’s secret weapon. They let him know where the baddest of the bad guys are, and all they have to do is go in behind him, and pick up the pieces. Wiz: Officer Downe has all of the equipment he needs, including a patrol vehicle made from an armored car, and his “dynamic entry tool.” The latter is often called a battering ram by most officers, but Terry Downe uses it as the ultimate billy club. Boomstick: But his ultimate piece of equipment is the baddest of bad ass pistols, “the Answer Man.” This bad boy is a two-barreled, .85 magnum pistol – one side is a revolver, and the other side is a semi-automatic. Wiz: If you’ve never heard of an .85 magnum pistol, it’s because there isn’t any such weapon. An .85 magnum would be roughly equivalent to the 20mm anti-tank rifles that some nations produced between 1918 and 1939. These guns were so big, and had such a kick that they had to be fired from a prone position, lest they break the user’s shoulder. And even then, most men who fired the weapon complained about bodily pain after just two or three shots. Boomstick: But, Downe fires his pistol one handed! Oh, that Answer Man is one fine weapon. My granddad would have given his false teeth for one of those! Wiz: Downe can take a good deal of abuse. He can get shot or stabbed, and keep fighting, But, nonetheless, after being on the receiving end of enough damage, he will become sluggish, and even collapse. Boomstick: The safest way for the police to repair and resurrect old Terry is to bring him up, but they found that he could be reenergized by the tremendous efforts of the psychics that form his “bull pen.” But, it takes a toll on them, resulting in pain and even deaths. Wiz: So, when it comes to super-cops, Officer Terrence Downe is one of the baddest of the bads. Boomstick: And, I really want one of those .85 magnums! Intermission Wiz: The weekends are for fun. Boomstick: And, whether it’s fun at the shooting range, or the NASCAR track, or just sitting around, watching the fireflies, it’s more fun if you’ve gotten your hands on a Hiney! Wiz: But, you don’t want your Hiney to get too warm. If you act right now, you can get a limited edition Hiney can cooler. Boomstick: BURP! That’s right, just go to the Hiney Wine website, click on the Promo Box, and put in, “HINEYWINEALONGWITHWIZARDANDBOOMSTICKATDEATHBATTLEPROMOTIONSDEPARTMENT” - all one word, and all in caps! Wiz: And, they’ll send you your own personal Hiney Wine can cooler. Boomstick: The first 100 en...trance...entrents...people will get a can cooler personally signed by the brothers Big Red and Thor Hiney. So, don’t just sit there – get to that website! Wiz: Alright the combatants are set; let’s end this debate once and for all. Boomstick: It's time for a DEATH BATTLE! DEATH BATTLE! Pre-Fight Los Angeles police officer Lynda Allore mentally cursed her captain. She should be doing serious police duty, and here she was playing chauffeur for a VIP. Hell, he wasn’t even much of a VIP, just some assistant DA from New York City! Still, the captain seemed to take the whole situation very serious. Here she was in one of the department’s armored Escalades, and there was a cruiser before and another behind, providing escort. Also, the assistant DA looked nervous as all hell. She looked in her rear view mirror at the man. He was sweating profusely, in spite of the cool night air, and he kept looking left and right as the vehicle swept down the road. * * * The small police convoy cruised down the street with flashing lights dazzling any onlookers. But one onlooker was not dazzled. At the mouth of an alley stood a huge man in a deep blue police uniform. If anyone had looked closely, they might have noticed some problems with the uniform, particularly the shoulder patch that read, “Police Department: City of New York.” The man’s head turned to watch the convoy go past. Suddenly, a hand tapped the officer’s shoulder, and a voice announced, “Yo, officer, I’ve got a complaint to make.” Officer Matt Cordell turned to confront the much smaller young man with long hair and a wispy beard. The man’s eyes opened wide. “What the hell?” he said as his last words. Cordell’s blade flashed up and transfixed his neck, the tip dripping red blood onto the sidewalk. * * * The officer stood in the captain’s office as he talked with the visiting assistant DA. The two men’s conversation seemed to make little sense. As near as Lynda could figure, the DA man was on the run from a rogue NYPD officer. But, half the details were unspoken, showing that they had already talked about the situation, and the other half of the details seemed to make no sense. The officer was wronged years ago? He was thought dead, but he really wasn’t? He did a lot of killings, but the NYPD couldn’t stop him? The press had dubbed him the “Maniac Cop” for all his killings? Suddenly, there was the sound of a gunshot, followed by several more. Lynda hurried to the door, opened it, and looked out. What she saw sent her mind reeling. There was a massive police officer with a horribly disfigured face, one that would look at home in any horror movie. The man fired his pistol at a Los Angelino officer, sending the man flying. Other officers fired at the nightmare cop, but he seemed to ignore the bullets. He turned, and fired, sending another fellow officer down. The captain grabbed Lynda by the shoulder, turned her, and propelled her towards a door at the back of his officer. The DA man was already standing, looking like a frightened rabbit. “Get him out of here,” he commanded. “Take him somewhere safe. But stay off the radio!” With that, the captain drew his gun and stepped out through the door, raised the weapon and fired. Lynda grabbed the DA man, and pulled him towards the back door. “Let’s go!” she commanded. She hoped her voice did not sound as frightened as she felt. Behind her the sounds of gunfire continued uninterrupted. * * * Officer Terrence Downe walked into the armory. He always felt a bit disoriented after the procedure that put him back in working order. But, the armory and all the weapons it contained made him feel at home. Made him feel alive! Suddenly, Police Chief Berringer’s voice intruded on his thoughts. “We’ve got a situation that only you can deal with, Terry.” Downe opened the weapons locker, and pulled out his dynamic entry tool. He turned and dropped it noisily on the table. The Chief continued, “We’ve got an ex-cop from New York in town. He walked into the Center West Police Station, and shot eight officers dead.” Downe looked at her. “A cop killer?” he asked. His whole body shook, as it more often did these days. Chief Berringer looked at him seriously. “That’s right, and only you can deal with him. They say he can’t be killed; that he’s already been buried, but he can’t be stopped. He’s left a trail of bodies from one coast to the other, and most of them are cops.” Officer Downe turned back to the weapon’s locker, and took out the Answer Man; his .85 caliber answer to any argument. “Can’t be killed, you say,” he said as he checked that the weapon was fully loaded. “I guess we’ll just have to see about that.” He slipped his pistol into the holster on his hip. * * * Officer Lynda’s cruiser was heading down the boulevard, when one of the armored police Escalades caught up to her. Her first thought was that it was an escort, but when she saw the horrific face of the driver, she realized that it was the undead New York cop she had seen at the station. She pushed the accelerator down to the floor, but the souped up Escalade had no problem keeping up with her cruiser. Suddenly, the Maniac Cop turned over the wheel and the Escalade struck the read quarter panel of the cruiser, sending it spinning out of control. The cruiser struck the curb, and flipped over. Officer Lynda crawled of the wreckage of the cruiser, and extracted her wounded charge from the other side. The two looked up horrified as the armored Escalade did a U-turn just down the street. She put the man’s arm over her shoulder, and the two tried to hobble over to cover. But Lynda knew they would never make it. She touched the pistol on her hip, but she knew that it would be utterly useless against the armored vehicle thundering down on them. Suddenly, she saw a cop walk boldly into the street, and look determinedly at the charging Escalade. He drew the biggest pistol that Lynda had ever seen, aimed it at the vehicle and fired. She could see the bullet punch right through the bulletproof windshield and blow out the rear window. Then the officer lowered his aim, and fire three bullets into grill. On the third shot, something exploded, throwing open the hood of the Escalade, and blinding the driver. The burning vehicle veered off to the side, through a chain link fence, and into a partially completed new building. A group of striking union men, who had been watching the whole affair from around the warmth of their burning barrel, ran in panic. Officer Downe walked over to the wrecked Escalade, wrenched open the passenger-side door, and pointed his pistol in at the driver’s seat. The seat was empty. Terry Downe slammed the door shut, and looked around. The driver had to be close, and he was not going to let him get away. * * * Officer Lynda half-carried and half-dragged her charge through the construction site. A sudden noise caused them to stop and look behind them. To their horror, they saw the Maniac Cop striding quickly after them. Instinctively, Lynda dropped the DA man, drew her service revolver, and fired at the nightmare. She fired one shot, a second, and then a third, but the big cop didn’t even slow. When he got within an arm’s length, his hand came up with a billy club in it. The stick made contact with her head, the force of the blow sending her cartwheeling to the side. The Maniac Cop turned towards the cowering DA man. He took his billy in both hands and gave it a twist. Then, he slowly drew the handle from the stick, exposing a long, gleaming knife blade. The DA man began to whimper. Matt Cordell stepped up to man, and raised his knife. Suddenly, a large gloved hand closed on his wrist. Cordell turned and looked into the sunglassed eyes of Terry Downe. In measured tones, Terry began to speak, “You are under arrest. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law...” FIGHT! ' Suddenly, Cordell turned and landed a titanic punch in Downe’s face, sending the other officer staggering backward. Terry caught his balance, turned, and spat a wad of blood on the ground. He turned back to Cordell, and said, ''“You had the right to a chicken-shit lawyer, who would try to get you off. But, since you chose to resist, your ass is now mine.” Cordell raised his revolver, and fired at Downe. Officer Downe turned under the impact of the round, but spun back, with his dynamic entry tool swirling through the air. The ram struck Cordell’s pistol, and sent it flying out of his hand. Then, Downe spun the other way, and the ram impacted on Cordell’s head, staggering the big man. Cordell looked at Downe, and bared his teeth in a snarl. He reached up, and caught Downe’s arm as it came around with another swing. He picked up the LA cop, and held him above his head. Then, he turned and threw him into an upright girder. Terry bounced off of the girder, and bounced to the ground. Cordell grabbed a piece of rebar, and walked over to where Officer Downe was climbing to his knees. He swung the rebar and struck the man in the side of the head. Then he swung it again and again, showering blows that would have easily killed a lesser man. Suddenly, Terry brought up his battering ram, and blocked the flying rebar. Cordell swung again, and again the blow was blocked. Terry climbed to his feet, and blocked several more blows. Then, his arm sprang forward, and the ram struck Cordell in the face, staggering him backward. He swung the ram from the left, smashing Cordell that way, and then he reversed the blow, and smashed him the other. Then, Downe stepped forward, and delivered a kick, sending Cordell flying backward into a stack of bricks. Terry strode forward, but when he was close to the other officer, Matt suddenly surged forward, holding the rebar in both hands, and using it to shove his opponent backwards, until he his back hit into an upright beam. Cordell smashed the rebar into Downe left and right, left and right. Downes sunglasses were smashed, and flew off into the night. Then, he planted the bar against the man’s neck, and shoved. When Terry’s head was against the beam, Cordell bent the rebar around his neck, and the beam, locking him in place. Officer Downe gasped and clawed at the bar, as Cordell bent down and picked up a brick in each hand. Using the bricks as weapons, he pummeled Downe mercilessly, striking his head and his torso over and over again. Finally, the L.A. cop went limp. Cordell turned to where the DA man had been, and saw him climbing up a ladder to the unfinished second floor of the construction site. Matt advanced to the bottom of the ladder, and began climbing after him. 'K.O.! ' * * * Back at the Bull Pen, Chief Berringer and Officer Gable looked at the psychics who powered Officer Downe. Suddenly, they began to show new life. They shuddered and convulsed, and energy began to arc across the electronic equipment in the room. “Power is surging,” the attendant technician announced. Still looking at his gauges, he yelled, “It’s off the top!” Energy popped and sizzled around the room. * * * Back at the construction site, Officer Downe’s eyes suddenly popped open. He lifted his two hands and grabbed the rebar that was wrapped around his neck. He strained and pulled, and suddenly the bar broke into two pieces, freeing him. Looking around, he spotted Cordell on the second floor, chasing the New York DA. Matt drew the “Answer Man,” his .85 caliber pistol, and fired at the Maniac Cop. The impact of the huge slug spun Cordell to his left. Another shot spun him to his right, and then another to his left. The next shot hit the New York cop high, and launched him over backward, so that he fell off of the girder he was on, and plummeted to the ground. Terry advanced towards his fallen opponent, and as he struggled to his feet, he fired again. The round knocked Cordell back to his elbows, and the next knocked him flat. Downe stood over the other man, firing until both sides of his gun were empty. Then he looked around, and nearby he saw a large, handheld power cutter. He picked up the cutter, and pulled the ripcord. The saw coughed to life, and Officer Downe revved the engine. Then, he looked down at Cordell, and said, “Good night, princess.” He lowered the saw towards the Maniac Cop. 'K.O.! ' Two L.A. squad cars screamed up the street, and then screeched to a halt in front of the construction site. Downe’s backup officers pilled out of the cars, and looked towards where he was standing. He fed something into the burning barrel, and then reached down, grabbed some 2 x 4s, broke them in his bare hands, and put them in as well. Terry looked at the cops, and said quietly, “It’s about time you got here. Cleanup has been all taken care of.” Results '''Boomstick: Ha! Justice served Southern-style. In a barbeque! Wiz: Yeah, it was a bad end for Matt Cordell. Boomstick: Oh, I don’t know, a little barbeque sauce, maybe some coleslaw... Wiz: Ew. Yeah, this was a fight where the Maniac Cop was at a real disadvantage. First of all, Officer Downe had much better equipment. Where Cordell had a nightstick with a knife in it, Downe had his battering ram. Where Cordell had his .38 caliber service revolver, Downe had his .85 caliber revolver/automatic. Boomstick: Both combatants could take a lot of abuse, but both eventually were rendered unconscious, or whatever. Unlike Cordell, who needed time to recover, Downe could draw on the power of his Bull Pen to recharge him, and send him right back into the fight. Wiz: And, this meant that Downe was able to take Cordell Downe, and keep him Downe. Get it? Downe with an ‘e?’ Boomstick: Yep, Wiz, the end was really hot. Wiz: The winner is Officer Downe! Poll How many stars would you rate Maniac Cop vs. Officer Downe? 5 stars 4 stars 3 stars 2 stars 1 star Category:What-If? Death Battles Category:'Anti-Hero vs. Villain' Themed Death Battles Category:Cop Themed Death Battles Category:'Gun Fights' Themed Death Battles Category:I'm Lynda Category:Movie Combatants Category:Undead themed Death Battles Category:Completed What-If? Death Battles Category:What-If? Death Battles completed in 2019